Falling, Chapter 14

Falling: Chapter 14: Relief

by Lelila

Starfire realized she was awake.  She had been floating in some inky blackness that mimicked sleep, but at some point, she had drifted far enough above it to recognize that her consciousness had returned.  Her eyes were closed, but she had neither the strength nor the desire to open them.

After some more time passed, she also realized that Robin was near her.  Mostly it was because she could smell him.  She’d always enjoyed his scent, even before they had started the courting process.  It was a sweat-tinged musky smell that vaguely reminded her of the nihptg flowers that had grown in the Tameranian Royal Gardens.  She let the aroma wash over her, floating on the comfort that it brought.

Drifting in and out of wakefulness, she next became aware of Robin’s physical presence.  She could feel his weight in the bed with her, and the waft of his breath across her forehead. His arm was propping up her neck and head, and she could feel his fingers at her hip.

With the return of her sense of touch, she realized how tired she was. Her limbs, indeed, her entire body felt as if it were made of a stone so heavy that not even she, with her super-strength, could lift it. Still, her eyelids seemed to open of their own volition, at least a little bit.

As her vision focused, Robin's nearness was confirmed.  The light was dim, but he seemed to be dozing.

Summoning every ounce of strength she had, Starfire opened her mouth.  "Robin?" she murmured.

The actual sound she made was more like "aaawweee," but it was enough to rouse her bedmate.

Robin still wore his mask, so she could not see his eyes open.  But his weight shifted slightly, and his voice, thick with sleep, replied, "Starfire?"

Starfire managed to blink.

Robin's face broke into a wide grin.  "Hey, look who's back."  Raising his hand from her hip, he brushed a few errant hairs from her eyes.  "How do you feel?"

"I am...tired," Starfire managed.

"Yeah, you will be for a while.  Sleep as much as you need; I'll be here when you wake up."

Starfire thought she nodded, but whether or not her head actually moved is debatable.  She closed her eyes, and the last thing she felt before drifting back to sleep was the touch of Robin's lips on her forehead.

--

When Starfire again drifted toward consciousness, she was greeted by the sounds of her friends speaking.  

Perhaps “arguing” was a better word.

"I'm telling you, she was awake.  She talked to me!" insisted Robin's voice.

"Seriously, man, I really don't think that's possible," returned Cyborg's voice.

“But Dude,” came Beast Boy’s voice, “she’s an alien!  How do we know what’s possible?”

“Yeah, but,” Cyborg said, “even so….”

“Stop it,” Raven interjected.  “Look.”

The four or them turned to see Starfire blinking at them.

“Hey, there’s our girl!”  Cyborg proclaimed, obviously lowering his voice.  He took a step and stroked his fingers over her head.

Starfire looked at each of her friends, all of them smiling, but with other emotions playing over their faces.  Cyborg still looked very worried.  Beast Boy had something that can only be described as reserved glee in his eyes.  Raven was just reserved, as always.  And Robin looked exhausted.  Relieved, but exhausted.

“How ya feelin’?” Cyborg asked.

Starfire opened her mouth, and for what seemed like a very long time, nothing came out.  Finally, weakly, she managed: “What happened?”

The four standing Titans looked at each other, and after an awkward pause, Raven cleared her throat and explained, briefly, to Starfire about how she had been wounded battling the creature.

“But your vitals are improving, and the fact that you’re awake is very good.  You should be fine with enough rest,” Raven finished.

Starfire looked at each of her friends again.  She wanted very much to jump from the bed and embrace them all, but right now talking was wearing her out.  Still, she felt it necessary to say one more thing.  

“Please,” she whispered.  “No more fighting.”

Again the four standing Titans looked at each other uncomfortably.  

“Oh Star,” Cyborg said after a moment.  “We all just want what’s best for you.”  When Starfire managed a small frown, he quickly added: “But we’ll do our best to agree more.”

As that seemed to satisfy her, Cyborg stroked her head again and said:  “You rest.  We’ll all be around if you need anything.”

Starfire closed her eyes, and Raven began herding everyone from the room.  Cyborg lagged a step behind and confided to Raven:  “It’s amazing.  There’s no way she’d be awake at this point if she were human.”

“If she were human, she’d be dead,” Raven replied.

“Don’t let Robin hear you say that.”

--

From that point on, Starfire’s recovery was amazingly fast, at least by human standards.  The day after she had first woken up, she was sitting up in bed, and, with a little help from Robin, eating real food as opposed to being fed through a tube.  The day after that, she managed to get out of bed and go to the bathroom by herself.  And the day after that…

“Please, I wish to sleep in my own bed.”

“I don’t know, Star,” Cyborg shook his head.  “You’re doing really well, but I’d like to keep an eye on you for a while longer.  You’re still sleeping 18 hours a day.”

“And I wish to do that sleeping in my own bed!  Does it not make sense that I would rest more comfortably in my own domicile, and therefore, recover more quickly?”

“She’s got a point,” Robin appeared in the doorway.

Cyborg threw a “you’re not helping” look at Robin and turned back to Starfire.  “You’ll still need to be checked on regularly.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Robin put in.

“And when are you gonna sleep?”  Cyborg shot back at him.

Robin paused.  While the rest of the team knew that he and Starfire were a couple, he had tried to be as discreet as possible about the two of them sleeping in the same bed, often leaving her side very early, using training as an excuse.  And while he had promised Starfire that she would never sleep alone again, he still wasn’t sure he wanted the rest of the team to know about it just yet.  But then an idea came to him.  

He crossed his arms in that “I’m in charge” way of his.  “I’ll take the night shift.  The rest of you can split up the day.”

Cyborg looked first at Robin, and then at Starfire.  His shoulders slumped.  “Fine.  But you have to promise that if you start to feel even a little bit worse, that you’ll agree to come back here.”

Before Starfire could reply, Robin stepped up to her bedside.  “Don’t worry, Cyborg.  I’ll take good care of her.”

He offered his hand to Starfire, who smiled, took it, and swung her legs out over the side of the bed.  When she swayed a little upon standing up, Robin’s arm was immediately around her waist.  “Hey, are you okay?  Do you want me to carry you?”

Starfire shook her head.  “No, I am fine.  Just stay near.”

--

Later that evening, Robin returned to Starfire’s room, ready for bed.  Despite his promise, he had not slept in Starfire’s medical bed with her after she had initially woken up.  But he had been sleeping in her – their – room alone.

And now Starfire lay in that bed, asleep. He wanted to keep his promise of showing her all the love he had; to scoop her up in his arms, hold her tight and cover her with kisses. But they had not resolved the argument they had been having before she was injured.  He paused, looking at her, unsure of what to do. Did she even want him to sleep with her?

Before he could make any decision, Starfire softly called his name.  “Robin?”

He crossed to the bed, sitting at the foot.  “Star.  Are you okay?”

“I am fine.  You have come to check on me?”

“Um, well….”  Robin scratched the back of his neck.  “Actually….I came to go to sleep.”

Starfire’s eyes brightened.  “You still wish to sleep with me?”

Robin turned toward her fully, kneeling on the bed.  “Well yeah.  Why wouldn’t I?”

Starfire pushed herself up into a sitting position, clutching the sheets to her chest.  “You are not angry with me?”

“No!  I am curious as to why you acted the way you did, though.”

Starfire blinked.

“Why didn’t you listen to me or Cyborg?” Robin elaborated.

Starfire’s brows knitted.  “Cyborg?  We are not talking about our fight, are we?”

Robin pitched forward onto the bed, burying his face in the plushness of the comforter.  

“Robin?”  Starfire reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, surprised to find it shaking.

Robin rolled to face her, obviously laughing.  “You thought we were talking about that?”

Starfire nodded, confusion in her eyes.  

Robin pushed himself back into a sitting position, his face growing sober again.  “I was talking about the fight we had with the creature.”

Starfire cast her eyes into her lap.  “Oh.”

“Why were you acting that way?”  Robin asked again.  “Why didn’t you listen to us?”

“I…I am uncertain,” Starfire stammered.  “I was very conflicted.  I felt, if I were very aggressive, I would be victorious.  Yet, at the same time, I also felt that if I kept the creature occupied, I would be able to protect it from you.”  She looked up into his eyes finally.  “I thought that if I was not the one to defeat it, then something terrible would happen.”

“Like what?”

Starfire shook her head.  “I do not know.”

Robin bit his lip.  He was all ready with his “we’re a team” speech, but it didn’t seem right somehow.  Deciding to just say what was in his heart, he crawled up the bed to sit at Starfire’s side, cupping her cheek in his hand.  “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Are we ‘okay?’”

“Yes!”  Robin reached up and peeled off his mask.  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days, Star, and I was being stupid.  I love you.  Why would I not want to share my body with you?"

Starfire put her hand over his.  “I am glad to hear that you are not angry.  But I too have been thinking, and I believe I was being hasty.  We should not perform the act of xioykrw unless we are both ready.  It would not be a true meeting of the souls.  Please accept my apology.  I shall refrain from the pressing from now on.”

“But, Star, I think…”

“No,” she cut him off.  “You must know.  I know that you are more thoughtful than I.  You must take the time to do your thinking and not feel obligated because I say I am ready.  And when you know, you must tell me, and then we shall plan.”

Overcome, Robin pulled her into his embrace.  “Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.  “Thank you for understanding.”

He felt her smile before she gently pushed him back.  “Come, you are here to do the sleeping.  Join me underneath the coverings.”

Sighing with relief, Robin kicked off his boots and pulled his shirt over his head.  He slid into bed and took Starfire into his arms, holding her close.  They lay back on the pillows, Robin resting his head on Starfire’s shoulder.

“I love you, Star.”

Starfire smiled.  “I love you, Aiyknrwa Robin.”

He pulled back a little, looking up into her eyes.  “How do you say ‘I love you’ in your language?”

Starfire beamed.  “Yr sefte.”

“That’s really pretty.  Whenever I hear you speak Tameranian, I always think how gruff it sounds.  But that’s really lovely.”  He paused, turning it around in his brain, and then tried it himself.  “Yr sefte, Aiyknrwa Starfire.”  He frowned.  “How do you say your name in your language?”

Starfire seemed to blush; her eyes turned away the way they did when that happened, anyway.  It was too dark to tell whether or not her color actually changed.  “Koriand’r.”

Robin smiled again.  “That’s really pretty, too.”

“To be truthful, I like ‘Starfire’ better,” she said, an embarrassed smile flitting across her face.

“’Starfire’ it is, then,” Robin replied, pulling her close again.

They lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other’s touch and presence.  Starfire stroked his hair a few times, but stopped, and spoke into the quiet.  “Robin, I am wondering….”

“What’s that, Star?” he replied, not looking up.  

“Well, Friend Beast Boy’s true name is not Beast Boy, it is Garfield.  And since I have told you my true name…”

“You were wondering if ‘Robin’ was mine?” he finished her sentence, pulling back a bit to look at her.  She nodded marginally.  “No,” he answered.  “It’s Di…Richard.  Richard Grayson.  My friends called me Dick.”

Starfire looked puzzled.  “But why are you now called ‘Robin’?”

He smiled wistfully.  “I was born on the first day of spring.  My mother called me ‘Robin’ as a pet name…a sign of affection.  When I needed a separate identity, ‘Robin’ just seemed the name to take.”

“A ‘robin’ is a sign of spring?”  

Robin smiled more to himself than to her.  He loved answering her questions about Earth.  “A robin is a small migratory bird.  It’s said that when you see the first one after winter, spring has truly arrived.”

“That is sweet.”  She paused.  “So, do you prefer Richard, or Robin?  Or Dick?”

Robin signed, and turned onto his back, running his hand over his face.  “That was another life.  I think if somebody called me ‘Dick’ today, I wouldn’t answer them.”  He rolled back to face her, caressing her cheek with his thumb.  “Besides, I really like the way you say ‘Robin.’  It’s like you invented the word just for me.”

Starfire giggled.

Robin beamed.  “I have missed that sound.”

Starfire grinned back, and wriggled a bit to adjust her position before taking his face in her hands and gently pressing her lips to his.  “And I have missed this.”

“Me too.”  The corners of his mouth turned down a bit.  “Even so, I still think we shouldn’t…uh….what’s the word…” He squinted his eyes in a way that Starfire found very cute.  “Mrvlomh!” He came up with after a moment.  “I don’t think we should mrvlomh in bed until….until we’re both ready to….”  The ingrained embarrassment crept back into Robin’s voice.

Starfire shushed him with another soft kiss.  “If that is what you wish.  But do not feel any hurry to be ready, Robin.  I shall always be your Aiyknrwa, even if we never become Revolethen.”

At a loss for words now, Robin gratefully kissed Starfire, and snuggled back into her arms to fall into a much-needed restful sleep.